I know that everyone that reads
this newsletter this month will relate to these feelings to some
extent. In the last couple months I have heard countless
stories from clients, friends, coworkers and family members about
feeling unappreciated for efforts they have done. It was a
theme that kept come up over and over again this summer. I
couldn't ignore it and knew that it was something I had to share
with my readers. It seemed that I was being led to
write about it this month. Every where I turned this theme was being
repeated. At a dinner party, I would over hear someone talk
about how they went out of their way for some clients only to be
treated with disrespect in return. Many of my clients and
friends were feeling very sad and overwhelmed lately because they
had been kind and compassionate to others only to have it returned
with apathy or even cruelty in many cases. And of course
in many cases it seems that it is the ones we go the extra mile for,
who sometimes seem to not appreciate our efforts at all, or worse
may even resent our caring.
I too have had to sort through my
feelings of hurt and disappointment. When I would listen to my
clients share their pain these last few months it helped me sort
through some recent issues I also have been struggling with of going
the extra mile only to have it thrown back in my face. At
first it made me feel like a martyr. It makes us all feel like
this at times. " My God," I thought, "how much I
have done for so in so and look at how it isn't even acknowledged"
and so on and so on. You all know how this thought pattern
goes. You can finish this sentence. Perhaps for
you it may be your children or family members.
I think if we remember that when
we give to others in compassion and kindness the effort and love is
never lost. Never! True, some folks will never return
it. And some may resent it. But that is not why we are
doing it. We just have to remind ourselves that many people
will not acknowledge the kindness and efforts we extend simply
because they are in another place in their lives right now.
That is okay. Love heals no matter what response we get in
Another important factor to
remember for those of you that are extending kindness to people at
work and are not finding it returned to you is to - Remember the Law
Of Attraction. If we are focusing on what we don't want
we will get what we focus on. So if I go into work every day
thinking "Oh, my co-workers are going to be negative again today and
not appreciate anything I do" - Guess what -
that Is what the universe it going to generate back at me. And
that is what I am going to notice.
Try this as an experiment.
Write a list of all the things you like about your co-workers (even
if it is just one or two things). Or write down what you want
to happen that day at work and see how your attitude and their
attitude changes. Your will feel lighter and you will feel
Bottom line, those of you that
have heard my Chief Joseph and the New York Executive Story
know that our "tormentors" are our best teachers. So those
people in our daily lives that cause us heartaches, are here to show
us something and teach us something. Sometimes we may feel
like martyrs and be sad but don't stay there. Move on, let it
go and keep loving.