Reiki News

Reiki Master Diane Lynn Gelinas, M.S.W., C.H.

104 Douglas Drive, Candia, NH 03034
(603) 483-0132 or

August 2009


Freeing Yourself of the Martyr Syndrome

I know that everyone that reads this newsletter this month will relate to these feelings to some extent.  In the last couple months I have heard countless stories from clients, friends, coworkers and family members about feeling unappreciated for efforts they have done.  It was a theme that kept come up over and over again this summer.  I couldn't ignore it and knew that it was something I had to share with my readers.    It seemed that I was being led to write about it this month. Every where I turned this theme was being repeated.  At a dinner party, I would over hear someone talk about how they went out of their way for some clients only to be treated with disrespect in return.  Many of my clients and friends were feeling very sad and overwhelmed lately because they had been kind and compassionate to others only to have it returned with  apathy or even cruelty in many cases.  And of course in many cases it seems that it is the ones we go the extra mile for, who sometimes seem to not appreciate our efforts at all, or worse may even resent our caring. 

I too have had to sort through my feelings of hurt and disappointment.  When I would listen to my clients share their pain these last few months it helped me sort through some recent issues I also have been struggling with of going the extra mile only to have it thrown back in my face.  At first it made me feel like a martyr.  It makes us all feel like this at times.  " My God,"  I thought,  "how much I have done for so in so and look at how it isn't even acknowledged"  and so on and so on.  You all know how this thought pattern goes.  You can finish this sentence.   Perhaps for you it may be your  children or  family members.

I think if we remember that when we give to others in compassion and kindness the effort and love is never lost.  Never!  True, some folks will never return it.  And some may resent it.  But that is not why we are doing it.  We just have to remind ourselves that many people will not acknowledge the kindness and efforts we extend simply because they are in another place in their lives right now.  That is okay.  Love heals no matter what response we get in return.

Another important factor to remember for those of you that are extending kindness to people at work and are not finding it returned to you is to - Remember the Law Of Attraction.   If we are focusing on what we don't want we will get what we focus on.  So if I go into work every day thinking "Oh, my co-workers are going to be negative again today and not appreciate anything I do" -    Guess what -  that Is what the universe it going to generate back at me.  And that is what I am going to notice.  

Try this as an experiment.  Write a list of all the things you like about your co-workers (even if it is just one or two things).  Or write down what you want to happen that day at work and see how your attitude and their attitude changes.  Your will feel lighter and you will feel more free.

Bottom line, those of you that have heard my Chief Joseph and the New York Executive Story know that our "tormentors" are our best teachers.  So those people in our daily lives that cause us heartaches, are here to show us something and teach us something.  Sometimes we may feel like martyrs and be sad but don't stay there.  Move on, let it go and keep loving.

In Light



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Thought for the Month


You are the only one that creates your reality.

No one else can think or feel for you.  It's You - Only You.

Learn to become Still - and take your attention away from what you don't desire, and place your attention on what you wish to experience.

(excepts from The Secret)


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