Carpe Diem

Many of you know that I have spent over fifteen years as a Hospice Social Worker.  Today my area in the field of Death and Dying is specifically as a Grief Counselor and Death Educator.  Over the years I have found that many people can not understand how one can work in this field.  The answer is simple, "Working with the dying, teaches you a lot about Living."

"Seize the Day, Carpe Diem.  Make your life extraordinary", Robin Williams shouts out in the movie, "Dead Poet Society.  One of Dr. Bernie Siegel's questions that he poses in his books is "Are you living right now, how you would live if you knew this was the last month of your life?"  Ask yourself this question this month.  There is a reason why the majority of heart attacks occur on Monday mornings.  Living like this is the last month of our lives doesn't mean we quit work, drop everything and go to the Caribbean or Disneyworld.  It does mean, however, that you bring warmth and magic in your daily life by doing what you love.  "Following your Bliss" as Joseph Campbell writes in his books.  Sometimes of course, we need to build bridges to get to the point where we are following our bliss.  If your passion and desire is to teach and you are in school right now, you are still following your bliss as this is a desire and love and goal.  The trick is to find some passion with the assignments, books and homework that you are doing to achieve this goal.  That comes about with changing our attitude, also with taking the time we need to create balance in our lives.  That means, not all work or study or obligations at home, but also time for play or relaxation.  Again, I am reminded of a quote of Dr. Bernie Siegel that I will paraphrase, '"If we can't even take 10 minutes a day for ourselves, what are we saying to our bodies, minds and souls."  I once was a compulsive student and needed to always get "A's" (not A-, but A's), so I can understand the drive for perfection.  Over the years I have learned that getting a B and having a balanced life is much more important in the scheme of things.

Living like this is the last month of your life also means being present in the moment.  Learning to fully experience every sound, sight, smell and feeling of everything around us.  It means not taking ourselves and life too seriously and become childlike, (not childish) and taking time to simple have fun and perhaps play.  Often times when students are doing an apprenticeship for becoming a Reiki Master I notice they don't have joy or fun in their lives and that becomes one of their assignments. 

Living each day like it was your last means not holding grudges.  It means forgiving ourselves and others a little quicker.   It certainly doesn't mean we don't become angry, depressed, fearful etc.  However, it does mean we let it go and don't let it develop and overwhelm our lives..  Life is too short to be filled with negativity and fear.  Do something nice today, or better yet every day this month, for someone.  And make it even more of a challenge.  Do something nice for someone who has caused you pain or sorrow.

Living each day to the fullest often means we develop a good sense of humor.  We may even seem a little odd to those around us, however, humor is the music of angels.  We need to learn to laugh at ourselves and spread laughter with our family, friends and clients.

When I teach my Death and Dying classes at the college level, students are given a "terminal disease" the first day of class and have to write several papers that lead them on an experiential journey of finding treatment, making financial and legal decisions, and finally to decide on their death bed scenes, and funerals.  Part of the assignment is to write about what they want to do before they die.  When they turn in their papers my comments back to them are "Ok...do it now...why wait."  That may mean, calling a friend, taking a vacation, making amends with someone, writing a will or all of the above. 

So as the season changes this year, think about the seasons of your life thus far and ask yourself, "Are you living right now how you would live if this were the last month of your life."  I think we all will make some changes if we answer this honestly.

Carpe Diem!