Reiki Master Diane Lynn Gelinas, M.S.W., C.H.
|104 Douglas Drive, Candia, NH 03034|
How to Live A Darn Good Life (Part Three)
In the movie, "Ordinary People" a young man is struggling with the accidental death of his brother. There is a scene toward the end of the movie where he is in a counseling session and is very upset because a good friend of his just committed suicide. The young man is pacing back and forth and out of control. His counselor tries to calm him down by making him see that his friend's suicide is not his fault, nor was his brother's accident his fault. In return, the young man stops dead in his tracks and yells "I feel bad about his! Just let me feel bad about this!" Now it is the counselor's turn to stop dead in his tracks and he sits back in his chair, nods in understanding and says, "Okay."
I have been writing these last two months about how to feel joyful and blissful when you wake up each morning. How can one feel joyful when someone you loved has died? How can one feel joyful when there is someone at work or home that is cruel? How can one feel joyful when they are faced with a serious illness? And, how can one possibly be joyful on the five year anniversary of 911! The answer is, you can't. There is nothing wrong with feeling sad, angry, overwhelmed, or any emotion. Your feelings are your feelings. They are not right or wrong.
Dr. Bernie Siegel is a famous surgeon that has worked with what he calls "Exceptional Cancer Patients". In his workshops and writings, he tells his audience to get angry when something upsets them. Holding in any emotion and not processing it can lead to serious consequences. Especially if we suppress feelings a lot over a period of time. Feelings have to come out one way or another, sooner or later. If we don't process feelings, they may end up making us physically, emotionally or spiritually ill.
It is how we process and handle the feeling, that is the key to living a joyful life. If we are angry we don't want to lash out at others. Gentle confrontation and being assertive are some options to deal with people that have harmed us. As long as our intent is to heal and not harm with our confrontation. Forgiveness is key, no matter what. When we forgive we are healed and our emotional vibration is once again in touch with Source. I have a practice that whenever someone has annoyed or harmed me I wish them healing and love. I immediately try to change any negative or angry thought into a grateful one. My mantra is "thank you for the opportunity to send this person love and healing." Another incantation from Wayne Dyer is also powerful, "Sacred love flow through us now." When you do this, and are sincere in your intentions, you will immediately feel a difference spiritually, emotionally and physically. It is such a better feeling then anger.
Process your feelings, whether it be anger, grief or any emotions. Write a letter to vent your feelings (usually best not to mail it though), take a jog, exercise, find a friend or counselor that will listen. Allow yourself to feel sad when you need to. In bereavement counseling we have a phrase, "lean into your pain." Well, no one I know likes to do that! What is meant by this, is that we need to feel the pain to move past it. And there is the rub. Moving past it. We can't always feel giddy, but we can always look at our life lessons and turn them around into something positive and healing. That is where the joy comes in on a daily basis.
Lastly, in addition to forgiving others we need to forgive ourselves. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross once said, "I'm not okay, and you're not okay, and that is okay." We all are going to have days where we are off centered and not acting or feeling our best. You know what? That is okay!
Thoughts for the Month
Five years ago I wrote the following article for my monthly newsletters. Since that time I have given it as an assignment to Reiki students and encouraged others to try this exercise. It is a difficult one to do, however, I am reprinting it again on the Five Year Anniversary of 911, as it is needed now more than ever. If you haven't taken this challenge yet, try doing so this month. I would love to hear back from you regarding the outcome.
Many of you have participated in the request sent out earlier last week by Marianne Williamson, James Twyman and Neale Donald Walsch - to pray and meditate for world peace and harmony for ten minutes at 9 p.m. EST for seven days. The end of the seven days is tomorrow, September 18th.
When 1% of a community meditates, the crime rate has been reduced. I know the power of these prayers and meditations has had an effect. Now we can add something else to this effort. What a critical mass holds as an ideal will become reality. Sociologist have found that when 11% of a group changes their mind, the entire group will shift in that directions. We need now, in addition to prayer and meditation, to take action to change the reality of the critical mass from one of vengeance and revenge to one of peace and forgiveness. Gandhi was know to have said, "We need to turn brut force to love force."
So in addition to prayer and meditation I challenge you today to take action. If you have seen the movie, "Pay It Forward" the concept is similar, except it will be "Forgiveness Forward". I ask you to pick just one person in your life and ask them for forgiveness. Write a note to them or call them and ask them for forgiveness. Make sure your contact is all positive. Do not ask for or give reasons or justification for actions. Do not even go into specifics. Just briefly and sincerely ask their forgiveness. And, tell them there is no need for them to contact you unless they choose to. Rather, ask them for on one thing. If they do except your apology then ask them to take the "forgiveness forward" and write or call someone else that they would like to ask forgiveness - someone besides you.
If we get enough people doing this we can make a shift in not only our lives but our country, our leaders and the world. Many of you have felt helpless as to what to do this last week. This is a way to make a tremendous difference in your world as well as impacting the entire world.
Marianne Williamson states that "asking forgiveness is simply focusing on love and letting the rest go. Treating someone with compassion and forgiveness is much more likely to elicit a healed response." Forgiveness is not saying "what you did to me (or to our world) is okay." It is saying, "I will not let anger, hatred or revenge consume me and I will see you as someone who needs love and I will return love and forgiveness rather than anger."
Whether it be our own "personal terrorist" in our lives or the world terrorist, if we express compassion and forgiveness they may then, and only then, turn from their hate and return to their right minds.
One last thing. I suggest that you pick someone that is the most difficult person for you to extend an apology. Pick someone who in all reality really owes YOU an apology. Instead, offer your apology to them. So you extend your apology and wish them well, and then ask them to send "Forgiveness Forward" to just one more person.
I know this is a difficult task. I also know that the power behind this will make a tremendous difference and shift things for the critical mass. This is desperately needed now for our world. Please take the time to forward this newsletter to as many people as you know. The power of the Internet is enormous. Let's make this idea reach even more.
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