Reiki News

Reiki Master Diane Lynn Gelinas, M.S.W., C.H.

104 Douglas Drive, Candia, NH 03034
(603) 483-0132

April 2005

Being Independent of the Good Opinion of Others

Two separate stories come to mind this month as I write this section of the newsletter.  Both were stories I heard awhile ago while listening to some audio tapes of Deepak Chopra and Wayne Dyer.  Wayne tells of a time he was in a college class listening to a lecture of one of his professors who happened to be Maslow.  Maslow was talking about the self actualization concept of being independent of the good opinion of others.  Dyer loved the concept, raised his hand immediately and said, "From now on I am going to embrace that and live by that concept."  Then Dyer explains he noticed Maslow looked at him with an odd expression and immediately Dyer fell back into his own familiar pattern of judging himself by others opinions as he thought to himself, "Oh my god, I said the wrong thing, he must think I am really odd."  I am paraphrasing the story to my memory but the point is the same.  It is important and certainly nice to get positive feedback and affirmations from others, however, it is not realistic that it will always happened and most importantly it shouldn't be necessary for us to get it in order for us to be complete, healthy, and at peace with ourselves.  There will be many times in our lives when we are doing wonderful things and on the right path.  However, for some reason there might be someone, or a few people, that just plain can't stand us or what we are doing.  It might be because of their own issues, insecurity, jealousies, misinterpretation of us or our actions, or simply just a plain personality clash.  The point is, it shouldn't matter  if we are truly centered to our core truth.  Now I do know that is easier said then done.  But I do also knew for sure that when we do live this way we invite sacredness into our lives and it shows in our actions to others.  Try concentrating on this for a month for your goal and see what results you will have.  You will physically feel light when you let go of the need to please everyone.  Sometimes it is helpful to keep notes of thanks or comments that others give you as affirmations for those times in your life when it seems everyone has harsh words for you.  It will help you refocus and get a better grip on what is real and important.

Now for those negative comments or harsh actions of others....what do you do in these situations?   This brings to mind the second story that Deepak Chopra tells about a time he was giving a seminar.  Right before he was going on to talk a woman met him in the hall, introduced herself and said she would like a private conference with him after the presentation because she was told by his staff he would be available for private meetings.  He described the woman as coming off abrasive, sharp and demanding.  Deepak apologized and said that he wasn't available, and had other commitments and there most have been some miscommunication with his staff as he was booked that day.  He did offer some other options, however, the woman got more demanding and  negative and stormed off.  In the next few minutes he had to go before a large audience, and be calm, positive and spiritual.  He was able to center himself quickly and put the incident beside him until after the presentation.  Later that day he was meditating and the negative energy of the woman was still in his mind and he found it difficult to shake.  He then describes going through a process of asking himself if he was ever demanding, abrasive, sharp  and negative to another.  His quick reply was "Of course".  He also went a step further and asked his wife and a good friend if they had ever seen him that way, and with some hesitation they gave him an affirmative also.  The point of this story is that we all have our moments of being a little nasty, negative, or  least not as spiritual as we would like to aspire to.  When we encounter people like this in our lives it may be helpful to remember we can or have done similar things and would not want to be judge or treated unkind for them.  I have often told my students and myself that the best thing we can do for someone who is hurting us is to treat them with respect and kindness.  The best way to do this is to realize they are in some type of pain or are having something go wrong in their lives  which may be why they are acting in that fashion.  When you see someone in pain, then your response to them softens and so will your actions and words.  Send them Reiki or good thoughts and you well be healed.  Another Dyer mantra I have found helpful in situations where the negativity seems to infiltrate the conversations or room is "Sacred Love Flow through me/us now".  Take a long slow breath, even close your eyes slowly but or so discretely, AND see how you are filled with angelic kindness and love in the next instant.




Thoughts for the Month


If you pick up a burning coal and throw it at someone,

You are the one that gets burnt.


"If you want approval, it is ironic that the most effective way to get it is to not want it and to avoid chasing after it and to not demand if from everyone.  By being in touch with yourself and using your positive self-image as a consultant, much more approval will come to you."

Wayne Dyer


"Needing approval is tantamount to saying, "Your view of me is more important than my own opinion of myself."

Wayne Dyer


"In the rubble of devastation and disaster are buried hidden treasures.  When you look in the ashes, look well."

Deepak Chopra



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